Free Carbon Offsets

Jeff M  (Hercules,CA)

December 25, 2008

You'll turn off the water for 10 seconds while brushing your teeth just so I can burn some rubber in my my Mustang GT? I am in tears.

Logger  (Amazon)

December 24, 2008

Thanks for the offsets. I just clear cut about 5,000 acres of prime rain forest.

al gore's kid  (north pole with the polar bears that are drowning)

December 22, 2008

i just printed 200 offsets just now, in order to offset my fathers destructive hypocritical lifestyle. oh crap, here comes my dad!!

Butrus Butrus Galhi   (Chicago)

December 20, 2008

I just cut down all of my trees and lit them on fire

Captain Obvious  (You should know!)

December 20, 2008

In other news, the Pacific Northwest has just been buried under four feet of Global Warming. Seriously, if you believe the garbage Al Gore is spewing, you'd be filing a lawsuit to silence that con man. "Carbon Offsets"? More like "I've got the perfect scam to make myself rich! Tell everyone that the natural course of nature is all mankind's fault, then start screaming 'The Sky Is Falling! Buy "Carbon Offsets!" to make them think they're really doing something to 'save the planet'!" People seriously underestimate Mother Nature.

The Joker  (Why so serious?)

December 20, 2008

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I never laughed so hard in my life...well, except for that one time back in '68...oh, yeah, and there was that time in '72...and just recently...I think it was last week at that barbeque my friends were having...oh, and that other time, and this one time, at band camp...and that one time in the police interrogation room with some dude dressed in this black clown suit...I said to him, "Why so serious?" and he just went all "I'm the ********* Batman!" on me, and well, I just laughed and laughed...

Santa Claus  (North Pole)

December 20, 2008

I plan on giving every bad kid that I leave a lump of coal in their stocking a free carbon offset certificate so they won't have to feel doubly guilty about being bad this year.

Freezin'  (Wyoming )

December 20, 2008

Christmas shopping all done! Thanks to freecarbonoffsets.com!

Yucca Boy  (Jefferson Colorado)

December 20, 2008

Help. I just found out that water vapor is the highest contributor to atmospheric heat trapping. I need an Aqua Vapour offset certificate fast. Also I was going to give my rancher friend an offset for Christmas. Since CO2 is 27% Carbon and the flatulent methane from his cattle is 75% carbon, NEARLY THREE TIMES (3X) GREATER THAN CO2, should I just give him triple the number of offsets that a normal person would get or is there a special methane certificate?

Insane Clown Posse  (Orlando, FL)

December 20, 2008

On the internet, everything wants to be free. I knew this would happen. Thanks, Mickey!

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I shall be telling this with a sigh -- somewhere ages and ages hence; two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
— Robert Frost, poet