Free Carbon Offsets

Al Gore  (Your Backyard, USA)

December 16, 2008

You guys really are sick mocking a serious problem like Global Warming. There are polar bears drowning in the arctic, due to melting polar ice as we speak. Oh wait! Record cold temperatures in the arctic? Record snowfalls in Alaska? Polar Bears can swim? Oh, I feel so stupid...

Johnny B  (Providence,RI)

December 9, 2008

Just remember,,the best thing about a tree is what you can make out of it. Well time to run off 100 blank copies on the company copier then shred them.

Mook  (Up North)

November 7, 2008

I was feeling cold yesterday so I went to light a fire, but I was worried about my carbon emissions! After finding your website and alleviating my conscience, I poured a whole drum of gasoline on my driveway and lit it on fire. I sure was warm! Thank you Free Carbon Offsets!

Gretchen Doores  (Boston, MA)

November 6, 2008

I think this website is terrible, and you all should be ashamed of yourselves. Global warming is a reall serious problem that should not be taken lightly... That's why when I cheat on my boyfriend Danny with 12 black men, I don't use condoms because latex is non-biodegradeable!

Mark C.  (Atlanta, GA)

November 6, 2008

Thanks you guys so much for the free Carbon Offsets. Now I can fill up my Chevy Tahoe and not feel ashamed. I'll make sure all the Prius drivers know I'm Green by taping my offsets to the back window. God Bless you all!

Todd  (Portland)

November 6, 2008

I was thinking about killing myself because of all the carbon dioxide I emit by breathing but then I found free carbon offsets on this site. Wow! Thanks! I can live another day!

Keith B  (Irvine, CA)

October 15, 2008

If it weren't for freecarbonoffsets.com, I would never be able to run my business of turning diamonds back into coal and burning them.

Stevie G  (Intercourse, PA)

October 15, 2008

Where do I go to learn about becoming affiliated with you? When I want to offset some carbon, I simply hook the horse to the buggy and head to Costco that way. Amish. The original carbon offset.

Graham  (Ann Arbor, MI)

October 14, 2008

Thanks to Free Carbon Offsets, I can keep my backyard tire and crude oil fire burning and still sleep at night! You have given me the peace of mind that money just can't buy. Keep fighting the good fight!

Felix Chapel  (Slinkytown, America)

October 12, 2008

It's true! It's true! My life will never be the same. I just can't believe it. I feel so much better now. I can take the long way home if I want. Thanks Free Carbon Offsets. You're the best ever!

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We know ourselves to be made from this earth. We know this earth is made from our bodies. For we see ourselves and we are nature. We are nature, seeing nature. Nature weeping. Nature speaking of nature to nature.
— Susan Griffin, Women and Nature